WantageDive

So whilst the rich lot were on their way to their luxurious B&Bs in the dwarf mobile, the 5 happy campers were loaded to the hilt in their vehicles with dive gear, cylinders, clothes, provisions and 3 and a half tents. Steve travelled up with Bill in the Electrolux van whilst Dave Parker, Dave Wright and I crammed into Dave W's car and headed north. The plan, agreed earlier in the week, was to take all of the diving gear up in the van leaving just the camping gear and personal stuff to go in the car. I passed my diving kit on to Dave P on Tuesday in the car park of Autotype; Dave took it on to the shed on Wednesday and it got loaded into the van on Thursday - well most of it anyway!

The journey up was pretty uneventful, albeit long and a bit cramped. We caught Bill and Steve up north of Newcastle, found the campsite and pitched our tents just before the light faded. Bill's was a magic tent; I think he bought it off Paul Daniels. No sooner had he released it from the bag it leapt in the air, sprang into shape and landed perfectly, ready with a letterbox, doormat, an outside tap and a Beware of the Dog sign. Once we were all sorted we went off to find some food.

We had an early start next morning; Dave P is always up with the lark, happy, chirpy and noisy telling everyone about it being a beautiful day and all the sort of stuff that you really don't want to know at that ungodly hour. The quayside was buzzing at Seahouses when we got down there, with lots of divers trying to get closest to the steps down to the boats with their kit. Our group unloaded cars and vans into a neat-ish pile ready for Andy to arrive with the boat. I realised quite soon that the van was now empty and that I hadn't seen my dry suit. Bill saved the day as he'd brought his old suit with him and I was able to use that.

Days on the boat were full of the usual contests and battle of wills between Steve and Roly. Colam hung his T-shirt and skiddies on the side of the boat to dry out; strangely they seemed to be dragging in the sea for a while on a longer rope than they started out on. Roly accidentally filled Steve's bag with talc - the usual stuff, you know how it goes. John S was very amused by it all - he would have loved to have joined in but didn't bring any talc with him.

Apart from a session under the boat un-lassoing the prop with Mike Little, Roly had a pretty easy time of it. He'd got Jackie at his beck and call, dressing him, putting his fins on, singing him Smurf songs and gobbing in his mask. The boat has a new lift this year; Roly was the only one who managed to fall off it which was quite amusing. Not quite as funny as Dave P getting locked in the toilet on the boat though! Andy left the wheelhouse and went down to let him out. The little shake of the head on his return spoke volumes.

The seals this year were fantastic. They were very friendly and inquisitive and wanted to play which is quite different from previous years. Amazing what a few hormones will do! Bill took lots of pictures and some amazing videos of them - I'm sure you've all seen them. One of the seals became very attached to him and I think they are writing regularly now.

Saturday we were blown out and amused ourselves by travelling to Lindisfarne and then the 15 miles down to Whitley Bay. Steve, with his vast local knowledge, assured us that it wasn't far but it still took over an hour! The point of the journey was to see the second biggest dive shop in the country the Deep Blue Dive Centre. I've seen bigger chip shops! Most people bought something except Bill, who will only buy things that are either: very expensive, original Buddy make, extremely shiny or previously owned by Paul Daniels. We also visited an excellent eatery that served fine teas and cakes in the shape of peoples heads. Well not all peoples you understand, just the bald ones.

Life on the camp site was excellent even though we got rained on a few times. On evenings like those we all sat in the conservatory of Colam towers and drank beer and chatted late into the night devising plans of how to get into Roly and Jackies B&B. We all had fine camping chairs (except Bill who couldn't find a Buddy one) and we sat around a glorious camping heater, provided by Dave P, and warmed our feet. One of our conversations led to talking about company slogans and mottos. Bill said that, in the fifties, his companys motto was Nothing sucks like an Electrolux. I can't think why that didn't catch on!!

We had a little area cordoned off by wind-breaks in the middle of the tents which was the kitchen. Early mornings we had bacon butties and lashings of tea and coffee. Dave W cooked each evening and we dined like kings for about 4 pence each.

One evening, when everyone was phoning home, Steve was talking to his son on the phone asking if he'd had a good day and other Dad type stuff when there was a long pause and silence. Steve thought he had drifted off and asked him what he was doing. His reply was that he was looking at a spot on his willy! Obviously far more interesting!

The whole group, campers and B&B-ers met up at the Lodge one evening for the customary dinner, pool and jukebox fest. Mike Little was pretty sharp throughout the competition but lost in the final - peaked too soon I'd say, Amanda said that happens a lot. We played the usual Name that Tune competition with songs from the jukebox. Roly guessed a few: Hi ho, hi ho it's off to work we go and a couple by Father Abraham.

The journey to and from the Farnes is a long one but well worth it for the diving, fun and good times to be had there. As a previous die hard B&B-er, I can heartily recommend this camping lark. It really is a good laugh; everyone mucks in and does their share of the chores and it all costs peanuts.

Big thanks to Mike and Amanda for organising the trip, Steve for finding the most expensive campsite ever, Dave W for cooking, Bill for the loan of the dry suit and Dave P for trying to stop the leaks in it every evening!

See you there next year!

Les D

For photos, click here Steve & Jackies, Bills, David Ws Steve & Rolys